Today's house experiment · Apr 24 2026
Three pulls max · No boring combinations

Counter service for the incurably curious

Soda Fountain Rumor Mill

The chrome taps know things. Pull up to three syrup handles, set the fizz, and let the neighborhood soda jerk invent a drink with far too much backstory.

Best served to someone wearing sunglasses indoors for emotional reasons.
House policy If your soda sparkles suspiciously, that means the recipe likes you.
Known side effects dramatic straw posture, excellent timing, and an urge to lean on jukeboxes.

House mixer · chrome servicePick your taps

The fountain does not do subtle.